Sometimes...

I can't remember what makes me happy. Internal force not external. I mean my boys, watching them, loving them, of course, makes me happy. Watching the dogs play. Being with my friend who makes me smile and laugh, who makes me want so much more in life.
I used to be a happy person who was always smiling, helping others, who found joy from within. I know I will again some day. I know it takes time. I hate being like this though.
I still have trouble remembering things. My mind is constantly wandering. Feel like I want to cry at the drop of a hat, but can't because I don't want my children to see me do so.
Too much all at once.
I just have to remember.