Had to start a new one

I wanted to keep this blog separate from the other. The other was about all things holistic including homeschooling and family life.
I want this one to be about me and what I am going through since the one's I usually vent to aren't always available. So read if you dare. This probably isn't going to be pretty, but that is life. I don't think anyone really has it easy right now. Everyone is going through something. But usually they have a significant other to share the burden with. My significant other decided a few months ago that he no longer wanted to be with me and the boys. Thats fine. His decision. Life goes on. I'm not even really sad about it. Angry maybe, but not sad. Angry because it all started after I had a miscarriage. He made it all about him, not even thinking about how I was feeling. And what he made all about himself wasn't even about the baby, it was his own selfish perception. He didn't even care that I had lost the baby.
Then if anyone read Land of the Snow Wolf, you would know that my mother died on October 19, 2008. That is still a raw wound.
Shortly before that, the doctor found out that there was something wrong with my heart. I am on medication and was supposed to go back to the dr. Yeah, that was October 20th. It didn't happen. I'm still waiting to go back. I will. I promised someone that I would after I got some money.

So in the past seven months I:
Lost a baby by miscarriage at 3 months.
Lost my husband
Lost my mother
Got diagnosed with a heart problem
Sounds daunting doesn't it? I'm going to try to take the path less travelled and say I am going to be optomistic. (Although I gave up saying..."What else can go wrong?")

Good thing though, I started a really cool new job that allows me to work out of my home. Its in the slow season (hopefully) so I have to go get a "real" job...as some people tell me. I'm giving in and going to apply at a spa or something.

Oh and get this. After my mother died, my SO decided that he wanted to get back with me. That it was a mistake. Not that he was really sorry for what had taken place...again it was about him. See a pattern? Yeah, its been that way for a long time. I asked him what he would do differently. He said that he would change, he would fix things. Well, he hasn't. And he's taken up drinking...just about every night.
So, that is what is going on for the moment. I will write and fill in the little details as well as write whats bugging me, what's making me happy, how everyone in the family is dealing with things, etc.